| Jul. 9th, 2005 | 02:12 am | ||||||
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| fireworks | ||||||
| Jun. 29th, 2005 | 12:19 am | ||||||
Yes, it was nice to get the whole pesky first kiss thing over with, and yes, it was really nice, and yes, Chris is sweet... but... but... I don't feel much for him. I like him, I'm worried about him going into the army and all, but I didn't let myself get attatched and now I feel like a jerk for kissing him in the first place. Perhaps if I'd done this a month ago I wouldn't feel so badly, but now the guilt is piling on. Am I pulling an Alison? Am I leading him on? Blegh... I could throw up. In other news... My last "counseling" session was today. (:-P) I start my new job tomorrow at the Koffee Haus... (yay!) Nana and Poppy are coming Thursday (with Tiger)... (Double Yay!) We might have an Eakin-Hankins 4th of July get together (Hurrah!) Ben's going to come hang out next Sunday maybe... (Woot!) I only have a little more to do until my walls are finished (after two f'ing months of work)... (Woopie!) I'm off for bed. I shouldn't have stayed out so late to begin with, but since Chris is leaving tomorrow we went out and did fireworks tonight. They were cool and scary and beautiful. There was a purple and white one in particular that was my favorite. Then we had to "book it" because some car spotlighted us and started following us... Ah well, fun stuff. Good memories for Christopher though. -laura |
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guilty| well would'ja look at that? I thought a few of these would be higher... | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jun. 26th, 2005 | 03:50 pm | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Apr. 2nd, 2005 | 11:56 am | ||||||
*HUGS* TOTAL! give wingless_cherub more *HUGS* Get hugs of your own |
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| Feb. 17th, 2005 | 12:32 am | ||||||
As everybody knows, the ending of the movie is almost always the most important part. Tonight was no exception. It got to the moment where Matthew Perry says is second-to-last line in Three to Tango when dad walks in to tell me about an insurance card something-or-other that I already knew about. Anyway, I told him to go away and he didn't and I snapped again and he left. Of course, I finished out the last 1.5 minutes....I mean, Of course I felt so badly afterward that I went and apologize, which is a magnificent feat if I do say so. But all the same, this is why I feel brave, not because I snapped at him, but because I apologized. It's a stupid fruedian thing I discussed with Joanna yesterday, so I'm a little elated, and very proud of myself. Dexter called yesterday. Yesterday was supposed to be the last beautiful day we'll see until the arrival of springtime, which I'm looking forward too unabashadly. Anyway, I was so unabashed that I pulled out a big beach towel and sat on the front lawn talking to him for about an hour. I have no idea if he ever tried calling me back like he promised, but I didn't care because it was by far the loveliest afternon ever. Anyway, I had one hell of a day today. I've been fighting off feeling hurt about quite a few various things, and today I realized, after a conversation with Josie on bottling, that fighting it off was the same putting things away in a box, that would soon become entirely too full and begin to seep over, resulting finally in a monsterous explosion. It's not really something I'd look forward to, but would be quite entertaining. But after a mentally draining day I went to the Mount Blanq book store, carrying no money, but leaving with a book anyway. I'm really excited to have established somewhat of a business-like friendship with Mrs. Hurst. She's a nice lady, and always willing to do things for anyone. I admire her further because she isn't shy about giving her opinion on anything either! Anyway, again, I was elated because I mentioned having nothing to read, but also no money; taking pity on me, she leant me a book from her exclusive book club. I've never written a book review before, but it's something to look forward to... Oh, the book itself is great so far. It's by Kristin Gore (yes, Al Gore's daughter). Judging by the first 15 pages, I believe it's something everyone I admire would be delighted to read... it sounds boring when I say it that way. It's horribly ADD, the main character is a hypochondriac, and something to do in politics, and has a japanese fighting fish. That's about all I can say about it, but trust me it's great. After the book store, I gave in to go to choir... But it's what happened after choir that's important, and that is that when I got home Justin comes up my driveway, as I'm going in side, in his boyfriend's slugbug (which was supercute and simultaneously obnoxious), only to price-drop and show off his new jeans... What blows me away is that anyone would give him their credit-card number to buy on a whim a $63 pair of jeans. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for him, it just makes me a little queasy at the same time. I'm just glad I was officially invited to his birthday next weekend. I think the main reason for this particular part of the entry is more for me, since no one reads this anyway, so I'll remember to tell Dexter, since I know he'll want as many details as I can spare >-P Anyhow, it's been a very nice day all in all, I felt very... clean... and now I'm brave... and it's time to go to sleep before I lose that feeling... |
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| *deep sigh of releif* | ||||||
| Feb. 15th, 2005 | 12:00 am | ||||||
Anyway, the past month and two weeks have been a whirlwind of perverbial shit hitting the fan. One thing after another. But rejoice, today was that pink and red mess of commerce at it's worst, which turned out to be not so bad afterall. I had completely forgotten Valentine's day and packed a handy pack of construction paper, scissors, markers, and my glue-stick (with which I've formed an emotional bond... I love my gluestick...) I made a pile of valentines, and though similar were pretty sincere... except where I put "loser" on nearly all of them--- that was pure sarcasm. I made a bit of a fool of myself, finding that I'm probably the only one (except for Mrs. Trent with her coffee breath) who likes those chalky hearts with little inscriptions. Josie came back from "that place" today. She retains the same schedual as before, with one change- I do not in fact have the same schedual and have switched lunches since she disappeared to Nashville for 2 months. "So, I'll see you at lunch, kay?" To which she replied, "You've taken my place?" Which in fact is not true, because there have actually been two additions made to that table, me and Casey, so HA! She's so... Territorial. However, there is nothing at all wrong with this because I suppose we all are. Anyway, I think my only stress as of now is photography, which I shall shoot and develop on my own, then take to make prints at school... probably the day we're out for President's Day. So that's covered. Now all I have to do is figure out my new algebra lessons and I'm set! Hmmm... there seems to be nothing else, and I don't really feel like delving into the depths of my soul tonight so I'm off to bed! laura |
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| Jan. 9th, 2005 | 10:07 am | ||||||
Alright, so, this morning I wake up in a cramped stupor, and tell my mom, "I'm not going to church, okay?" and explain the rest to her. I mean, I'm cramping so bad that my boobs hurt! It sucks. So, the family's walking out the door to be good doughnut-eater-church-goers when dad realizes I wasn't ready and wasn't going with them. Anyway, without boring you too much, he throws a fit, mom tells him "It's none of your business and you don't know what you're talking about," and he's still kicking and screaming as he walks out the door, pulling that stupid cap over his head. Well, that was approximately an hour ago, and it's 10:01 am now, I might as well get some work done so the rest of my day is relaxing. Awwwh, Holly's so cute, she has the biggest eyes when she wants attention! (o^_^o) how adorable!! |
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awake| bloging and shit... | ||||||||||||
| Jan. 8th, 2005 | 04:52 pm | ||||||||||||
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| Sep. 28th, 2004 | 10:48 pm | ||||||
Oh shit, I'm getting dreamy again. C'est la Laura. haha... Oh hell, I may as well go on: And then there was this Beautiful Stranger that I saw jogging this morning on my way to school. Gorgeous. He was blond and his hair was messy and pulled into a bandana. I remember what he was wearing, down to the headphones. And it was one of those things, where in movies it'd be in slow-motion. Suddenly I wasn't going 35 mph, but 2 mph; and he wasn't jogging, but was gliding. And for the longest moment there was just one of those looks between us. And I smiled and all of a sudden I'm going 35 again. The Dalai Lama said that The human touch is a necessity and keeps us contented and sane... Awh crap, that reminds me... I went to Webber's house on Sunday to help put together something from Sweney Todd (which I've fallen in love with despite the twisted plot...) Anyway, this guy was there, and he's just the comfortable sort of character that you want to cuddle up to (hehe, he's like a bear.) Anyway, he took over the sofa so I sat on his legs and we stayed like that for the entire first act. Before that we hardly spoke to eachother; now we're joking and messing around like we've known eachother for years. Funny how things can change like that. I'm not really attracted to this guy, but I could be. |
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weird| well that's a nice "how d'ya do?" | ||||||
| Sep. 12th, 2004 | 01:07 am | ||||||
Spent the night at Casey's and actually did what you're supposed to do when you stay over somewhere: Slept. I guess a change of pace was all I needed because once I sunk into her sofa it was all over. (Or rather, first I sunk into the bottom bunk and was kicked out and THEN I sunk into the sofa and then it was over...) But I have a valid excuse for being a party pooper: I was sick, so sick, from eating at Dixi Cafe. That'll teach me I guess. I learned one thing though; I have a particularly stubborn gag reflex which doesn't agree with me when I insist that something needs to come back up. (ewwwww, i know, but trust me it would have been for the best.) Simon got his package a couple days ago, which is PROOF may I point out, that I did NOT forget his birthday, in fact I was early and not late, even though the package was, but whatever. Yuck, I'm all icky and stressed out over Dex. I miss him a lot, and I'm scared for him... which doesn't do him much good, but at least my thoughts are with him. All I want to do is sleep but I can't seem to make my way to my room. I think, subconciously, it's a bad idea to go to sleep right now actually. Becca, you woke up with a busted lip, I woke up with a bruised wrist... something weird is going on... lol, j/k I had a peculiar dream last night on Casey's Sofa (sounds like a morning show doesn't it?)... not peculiar in the bad sense, but peculiar as in "What the Hell was that?" I'd prefer not to discuss it, I just thought I'd mention it since I want to give an accurate update. Oh Shit. I just remembered I left my pointilism project in the car and I've been driving with it back there all weekend. Alright, well, that means I'm going to go outside now, and hopefully make my way to bed afterward... X (ps) slowly but surely i'm getting back on track with writing and stuff. yay |
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listless| Sep. 7th, 2004 | 09:44 pm | ||||||
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hopeful| Aug. 26th, 2004 | 10:18 pm | ||||||
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| I just want to point out that I did NOT run the damned stop sign! | ||||||
| Aug. 26th, 2004 | 10:17 pm | ||||||
So there's this truck at the corner, and on my way to work I passed Mitchell and Prince street via courtesy of the driver on the other side who stopped at the stop sign about 10 yards behind it. There was lots of traffic so I was in heaven with "thank yous" because I would have run late otherwise. So Theeeeeen, I'm on my way back from work at around 9 and, surprise surprise, the truck is still there, at the same corner, and so I think, Okay, I think I know how to do this then... So I stop about 10 yards behind the stop sign, enough room for the other car who arrived at the other stop before me to get through. La-dee-dah, I stroll through the four way, not thinking anything of it, and suddenly I'm in a flood of blue and white flashing lights like being at a carnival. Goodie. I fumble for my insurance and liscense while Officer Johnson talks to me about no matter what and if in doubt always pull all the way up to the stop sign, etc etc. He goes back to his car, which is still flashing like a broken toy, and writes some things down. He comes back and true to myself, I begin to cry as always. I hate how intimidated I am by police. I'm such a fucking coward. I'm off for now... oh!! but I saw Mrs. Elliot tonight. I love Mrs. Elliot (my gradeschool counselor). I gave her a big hug and now I smell like her and Ralph Lauren. Ugh, speaking of Ralph, I've sung my last. I refuse to sing anyone's name upon arrival unless the occasion calls for it. Leave that to the... professional name singer?... X |
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aggravated| Aug. 24th, 2004 | 11:05 pm | ||||||
But it ended with a quote from Mark Twain that I thought was nice: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain " The last bit sounds like one of those inspirational posters you'd find in a classroom at school, lol. Speaking of school, I saw Lauren for the first time since Friday. She's looking well, seems to be happy, but then again she always is! lol. Well, sorta :-P That's not for me to generalize because I don't see her that often anyway. But anyway, theeeeeeeen I bumped into Robert Garner, who I loooooove to death. He's one of the sweetest guys in the world, and he gives gooda hugs. He came up to me and said "oooh, Laura, I wan't Lolita's..." and I said "Oh, then you've already tried it?" "No," he says, "but I'm just imagining what it will taste like and I want to go really bad..." (awwwh) I stood and talked to him for a good 10 minutes before actually leaving to get Lizzy (however it took me forever to walk to outer siberia to my car. Had to park by the damned baseball feild today! lol that's what I get for leaving at 7:55!) mmmmmm, I went through my pic-a-tures today. I can't seem to put them in the right order. Maybe I should find an old itenerary and stick to that! lol. I can't organize it like my mom can. And, since she still has stolen pictures I'm going to take them all back and if SHE wants reprints of them, sheeee can get them. Muahahahaha! Okay, need sleep. X |
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| Aug. 22nd, 2004 | 06:55 pm | ||||||
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| mmmm, icecream | ||||||
| Aug. 22nd, 2004 | 06:52 pm | ||||||
I don't know how I'm feeling right now. I'm Calm, I guess. I'm almost afraid to be this calm and low maintnance... It's just a foreign feeling to me I suppose. As Si puts it: I'm "low vibe" right now. I can't figure out what i want to do with thte rest of the night. There's not much to do really, but sit around and read and stuff... I'm not too turned on by watching tv lately, it's weird. It's something I've done all my life (too much all my life) and I just don't want to. Simple, but confusing. Y'all, it's truly sad how much of a couch potato I was when I was young. I could kick myself for it. I did a crappy job raising me... Oh wait a minute... I'm out for the night X |
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| School | ||||||
| Aug. 21st, 2004 | 01:00 am | ||||||
Deep breaths. Aaaanyway. John seems to be doing more journaling than anticipated, so I don't expect to see another entry from him on deadjournal for another while (unless he can prove me wrong... smell that John? It's a Challenge...) lol... But he and Becca are so lucky, I'd give anything to do nothing but journal everything for school... except for that shit we have to do in Health. That I can live without. Myself on the other hand. My anticipations have been dashed as well. I'm going to be spending a lot more money on school this year than I bargained for. First of all, I'm most definately opting for the fancy-pants make up kit in drama... then there's photography... you might as well cut out my intestines and sell them on ebay... and art. Art's not too bad, only I know once I start I'll keep investing more time and energy and more importantly: money, into the class... If not the one at school then those outside of school. Whatever. Anyway. Hmph. Gotta go to a meeting tomorrow and get paid (finally). The payroll company we use is still fucked up and I'm lacking in payment for two weeks' work (everyone else is too...) but that comes NEXT week, installed in our regular paycheck and Cindy is switching companies because we've had so much trouble. But anyway, meeting at 3, then I have to go BACK and work ANOTHER 5-10 like I did Thursday and Friday. I've gotten into a rut where I'm only working Thursdays Fridays and Saturdays, and that's no gooda. I can't base my schedual around that, I've got too much shit to do. With a show in October, what the hell am I supposed to do about being two places at once? Fuck, already I'm getting ahead of myself Oh, exciting news: Dave Matthews Band, free concert, Hendrix, September 19th, I wanna go for some reason... :-D ((*lemmie know if you wanna come with?*)) Okay, looks like no one else is going to get back on MSN, so I'm out, like... like something that's also out. Night, X |
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| Aug. 14th, 2004 | 10:55 pm | ||||||
I'm starting yoga/meditation class monday night. I'm really looking forward to it. Hopefully I can learn some calming exercises to use in everyday life, for I'm predicting quite a stressful year (especially if dad keeps yelling at me about how I'm worthless and do nothing around the house or for Elizabeth...) In other news, we have a new arrival in the family, and they're taking up a LOT of room... a new "entertainment center" popped out of thin air into our living room, but with the old one still in place there's no where for it to settle in. Apparently there's history behind it (mom wanted to buy it about 10 years ago, 3 years ago she walked into Dawn and Joe's house and realized that Dawn was the one who'd snatched it out from under her nose... and now we have it). I don't really care though, because it's huge and ugly, and frankly, I think it's rather gaudy. OH! "I'm so excited and I just can't hide it!" seems appropriate right now, seeing as I was overzealous about the schoolsupply shopping. It's my favorite season... and I got a new backpack. I finally caved and got a jansport, which should last me for years to come hopefully, and I won't have to buy a new one each year like I have since 6th grade or so. I can't wait to get my agenda this year, I've already got things that I've said, "crap, I wish I could write this down in my agenda!!" I don't know what happened. My opinion on the damn things seemed to do a complete 180 and now I can't wait... ah well, such is life. I smell like chips. I didn't even fry any tonight and I smell like them. lol. hmmm... I believe I'm going to shut down my yahoo site, as I've not made any alterations since I left it the way I liked it last month. I haven't even gone exploring in it recently to see what I'd like to change, so I guess I'll just disconnect the link and wait until I have something to post on it... I was a complete and utter flake tonight. I couldn't keep things straight, I took on more than I could handle at one point while Jessica focused all of her attentions on a party of 10 and a few side tables. We got hit really hard tonight as far as business goes, and with only two servers, well, you can imagine... MMMMmmmmmmmm... I got tipped really well tonight though... $45 yo!! Oh, but this one guy that came in and ate alone, he was so yummy... I was shamless and feel aweful now that he contributed $5 to my tip collection (when a simple $1.50 would've done for what he got). Gahhhh... Tall, i mean reeeeeeaaaaaaally tall... curly blonde, skinny, blue eyes, oh! ::orgasm:: it was wonderful, and everytime I came round he gave me the cutest smile... He was all decked out in business wear, black slacks, white button-down, very clean cut... mmmm... delicious. Hmm, well, I have topics to come up with for class tomorrow. We all have to submit two or three ideas and expand on them... so I'm going to look up some things last minute tonight before I go to bed... Hmmm, not getting off to a very good start, and this isn't even schoolwork!! brrrrrrrrrr, X |
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| so i was reflecting... | ||||||
| Aug. 5th, 2004 | 09:11 pm | ||||||
I've got such a horrible headache. (this is an aside, but...)The past few nights, my dad has taken to lecturing me for nearly an hour, and somehow I'm able to maintain my composure until I'm finally allowed to leave the room. I seem to be a yelling magnet, everyone, mom, dad, lizzy, has yelled at me at every opprotunity, and I don't know what I'm doing to provoke it! My attitude is changed when I'm around them, I bought lizzy breakfast and other things with my own money; I clean willingly, but it goes, of course, unnoticed... I'm sick of it. I'm being called greedy when I'm being all but selfless... What the hell am I doing wrong? I don't ask for anything but that I'm left alone when I want to be alone. It's weird though, I can still connect to dad after a rough night. We still have laughs (kind of) and can be friendly, even though neither of us knows if we're faking it for the sake of being on good terms with eachother. His car drives great though. On the other hand, I can't wait to get the fuck ooooooouuuuuuut!!!! I wish I could say that I had reservations about leaving, that I'd miss the constant friction in the house... but it's impossible, lol. That said, I'll escape to France; I've been fantasizing about it for weeks now, becoming a part of a new family, being like baby learning to speak, lol. Mmmm... I can't wait. In fact, I asked my counselor today when I went to collect my schedual if it were probable to go during my senior year. She said she'd had a few people that had gone before in their senior year, but not too many. She'd have to talk more about it with me. I'm to talk to Fräulein DeBorde* about AFS about the "ins and outs" of it all as Mrs. Houston put it. God I can't wait. Know what else I can't wait for? The day that Charlie decides to stop getting into the bathroom trashcan. The past few days he's gotten into it at around 10 am, right before I get up. I hear him rummaging around and know exactly what's going on and that I'll have an armfull of tissue to pick up when I roll out of bed. UGH!! Ah well... I'm going to burn a CD I think... yeah, that sounds good. X |
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| Aug. 1st, 2004 | 12:37 pm | ||||||
Whatever. I hope the dvd I returned to Becca isn't horribly horribly damaged. I found it yesterday in the side pocket of my dad's car. Who knows how long it's been in there. Hell, I thought she'd seen it one day still here and taken it home with her. I could've sworn she'd already gotten back. Ahh well. I just about went crazy in church this morning. I couldn't get in a comfortable position, couldn't cross my legs or sit indian-style or anything. Then just being there made me uncomfortable and queasy as it usually does. Sunday school I like, but the actual service bothers the hell out of me... Oh shit, I think I bruised my arm... Okay, my eggrolls are calling me, and then I'm sending myself to my room for some much needed clean-up. I rearranged last night, but it's not complete without vaccuuming and dusting and pickingup hidden clothes and stuff... X |
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Memoirs of a Cherub |
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New Stuff Friends About Me Old Stuff |
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